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her was preparing pancakes for her sons Jared, 5, and Tony, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw this as an opportunity for a moral lesson in conflict, so she said to them, “If Jesus were here, he would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake; I can wait.’” Jared turned to his brother and said, “Tony, you be Jesus!”
Arguing, bickering, quarreling, and disputing all make for miserable lives for God’s people. Christian love is a great ideal until we are at loggerheads with a family member or business partner. One of the best ways to raise one’s blood pressure is to get into a heated argument that never seems to have an end. Someone once said that an argument is like a country road, you never know where it is going to lead.
One area where arguments can take a huge toll is within a church. Simple disputes have been known to explode and cause serious fractures within once solid congregations. Satan seems to score a grand slam whenever he can get a church to refocus its energies on infighting instead of its mission. Such was the case in Paul’s Philippi congregation. Much of his letter to that church is spent encouraging its members to live in harmony. He writes, “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14).
Chapter 4 reveals the details of a dispute between two women within that congregation: “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, loyal yokefellow, help these women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel” (4:2,3). For Paul to mention these women by name proves it was apparent that this dispute concerned him greatly. Paul knew that if it remained unchecked, it could send that young congregation into a death spiral that would end its mission. We can infer from his words that these women were prominent members, which made their arguments all the more hurtful. His only concern was that they solve their disagreement and live in harmony once again. Paul even asked other members to help settle the argument.
Earlier in the letter, Paul gives some valuable advice in settling such disputes. “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose” (2:1,2). First, Paul points us to Christ. He is the reason we unite together regardless of personal feelings. Second, he describes the love of Christ as an incentive to settle any dispute. That should supersede our petty egos. As Paul says in Colossians 3:14, “Put on love, which binds them all together in perfect harmony.” Third, he mentions our fellowship with the Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit dwelling within us who gives us the power to settle all disputes as God would have us do. Fourth, he mentions that we should use tenderness and compassion when dealing with those around us. God’s church is a diverse group of people from many races, backgrounds, histories, economic means, and educational levels. Yet none of these should hinder the body of Christ from being like-minded. Instead they all should follow Solomon’s wisdom: “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” (Proverbs 17:14). It doesn’t get much easier than that.
We don’t know what happened to those two women or what became of their dispute. We have reason to believe that the Philippian church had success in the years that followed. Paul urges us to realize that the need for unity is greater than whatever might separate us in the first place. Allowing Christ to become the center of our lives and seeking strength and direction from the Holy Spirit will give us lives filled with greater harmony and hearts that concentrate on the one thing needful.
Prayer thought: Ask the Lord to help you become a peacemaker.